Saving Heda
by Siredtoalex
Summary: AU: Clarke is a doctor who works in an asylum and tries to treat Lexa's metall illness. Mentioned characters from: Glee, Arrow and Grey's Anatomy. WARNINGS: [Not very detailed] rape and mild language.


Saving Heda

Salt Lake City's streets where as busy as they could be. It was the time of the year: Christmas. The mouth-watering smell of cinnamon and gingerbread filled the air of the crowded pavements. Apparently, last minute shopping was a legit way to buy presents. Clarke thought about possible laws she could suggest to Rachel to prevent this annoying behaviour. Rachel was her best friend and a rather weird person who sometimes overdid things. Nevertheless, a great lawyer. She could never manipulate a law even though Clarke strongly believed she could. Politics were never her favourite subject. The one she liked least, to be honest. Clarke was very interested in medicine and human diseases. She studied mental health issues and worked in a hospital that focused on this field.

Clarke Griffin was twenty-three years old and a very intelligent young woman. The youngest student in Utah who finished college at only seventeen. When Clarke was little, she set her goals very high, although as a child, she always wanted to work at the vet. To create a safe and happy place for abandoned animals. Perspectives change and so do people. According to Finn, Clarke's first crush and high school love, she was always struggling whether to work at the vet or study. In addition to this, Finn always bragged about how he convinced her to study medicine. _Thank you Finn_ , Clarke thought and was running late again. Her boss already hated her and this was only her second day.

"I'm so sorry, the streets were filled with people and there was literally no way I - ", the elder blonde shut her eyes and pressed her index finger against Clarke's lips. "You have wasted enough time by being late. Get ready." She sternly said and simply walked away. Without losing another minute, the young doctor put suitable clothes on and the kit she had to wear. "Giraffe!" Her boss yelled which caused her to roll her eyes and mutter: "It's Griffin."

After getting rid of her boss, Clarke teamed up with another doctor and started discussing various things. She was nothing like Rachel, the only friend Clarke really had, but they still got along well. Her name was Thea and she had short brown hair and amazing lips. _Lips? Stop being weird, Griffin_ , she told herself. "Do you like Doctor Robbins?" she asked and chewed on her carrot. _Ugh, veggies._ Clarke hated vegetables. She was the bread type. With Nutella or honey. "Who?" Clarke asked and tried to find a fitting face for that name. "The big boss, Miss Robbins. Her first name is Arizona. I believe she's gay, but no one is really sure about that." Thea mentioned and finished her food. "Trying to get to know her private life has always failed. Other than that, she is a great listener and always someone you can rely on. Trust me." Thea added.

Clarke let out a sigh. "She detests me, I'm not kidding. She keeps messing up my name on purpose to bug me."

The blonde-haired woman earned a laugh from the smaller girl. "Really? I think she's great. I never had such a nice boss and I have quite a history." She said. "Break is over. Come one, I'll show you around." Thea continued and led her to her station.

"Every doctor in this hospital has seven patients. They have numbers. A strict rule is, to always call them by their numbers when it comes to paper work, which you will have a lot in the first weeks." She was talking so fast, Clarke almost felt like she was at university all over again.

"Which corridor is mine?" Clarke asked. "It's 207" Thea replied and handed her the file of her patients.

"Take your time. These people rely on you." Thea smiled and left.

Clarke was already finished with her studies. The hospital 'AC - Arizona's Cures' offered her the job right after she nailed her finals. It was identical to an asylum for mentally ill people.

The young doctor checked her list of people:

Rafael Solano

Petra Andel

Quinn Fabray

George Lencrush

Steven James

Kendall Vaws

Lexa Grandees

The super excited blonde-haired person did not want to look at their diseases; she wanted to get to know them first. Rafael was her first mission. She opened his door and locked it after. The people who are committed to this hospital were capable of everything. They always locked them up. She learned that on her first day. Rafael sat there, his back facing the door and stared at the white wall. He didn't mind to say hello. This was the third time his doctor switched. He was tired of telling his story or faking progress.

"Hey." Clarke greeted and sat down on his bed. His reaction was the same. He did not move nor did he make an effort to reply.

"I'm your new doctor." She tried again, this time getting a response.

"Surprise." The Latino muttered bitterly and shook his head.

"I'm not your first?" the blonde asked and peeked in his file.

"No, and I assure you, you won't be the last." He spoke and turned around.

He was a handsome person. Nothing like she expected. His room was also very neat. Dark hair fell over his eyes, covering them. He brushed his overflowing hair to the back of his head to look at his new doctor.

"So… Why are you here?" Clarke asked and inched closer. She tried to build an emotional connection to her patient. However, it actually only confused the man.

"I wanted to fuck my sister." He whispered and stared at Clarke. She felt slightly uncomfortable.

"Why's that?" The blonde-haired person responded and crossed her legs. Rafael was not expecting her to be this professional. She was new after all.

The man told his story rather unwillingly, Clarke didn't stop asking questions. He was obsessed with his sister Luisa, who did not return his feelings, but had a huge crush on their stepmother. _What a crazy family,_ she thought.

"Granger!" Arizona called and handed her co-worker a bunch of paperwork. "I want these filled in ten minutes." She demanded and smiled at her phone. Wait, what was that? Was this a smile? The younger blonde could not believe her eyes. Did Arizona just smile? The happiness on her face froze when she saw Clarke. "Why the hell are you still here?" She asked and walked past Clarke with her shoulder bumping into the new doctor.

 _It's still Griffin,_ she thought.

Clarke rushed to her little office and was in a great hurry when Thea showed up. "Your patient is waiting for you. I already got a complaint about you. What are you doing?" Her new friend asked and grabbed the sheet Clarke was desperately trying to fill. "Who gave you these?" She asked bewildered and collected the other papers. "Doctor Robbins." Clarke mumbled and bit her pen. Thea pulled her sheet away and sorted them in a logic order before turning on her heel and leaving the small office. "I'll talk to her. You have patients. Don't let someone prevent you from doing your job." She admonished and left.

Clarke was struggling whom to believe. Arizona was obviously the headmaster of the hospital. Thea was just another high doctor who happened to be her new mentor. She saw her instructing some employees yesterday, so she had to be in a special placement.

Just when she was about to visit her next patient, her cell phone rang. "Hey honey." Clarke answered and smiled for the first time. Although her conversation with Rafael was not bad but rather refreshing and open, she felt like smiling would only make him feel ridiculous or not taken seriously, so she embraced his way of telling a story with a professional mimic.

It was Bellamy, her boyfriend who had been gone for two months. He joined the army in order to honour his father who died in Vietnam. "How are you?" Clarke asked and leaned against the cold metal door of room 214. While she listened carefully to her lover's words, Clarke, as curious as she was, peeked inside and saw a tiny figure. A half-naked girl who sat on her bed as she was feeling her heartbeat and cried. Clarke somewhat ignored Bellamy and studied the olive skinned woman. She was beautiful. No, not beautiful, stunning. Her dark brown hair fell over her shoulders like a cascade. Even though they were meters apart, Clarke could still see the colour of her shining eyes clearly. Piercing green eyes that were meant to kill. She was very thin, almost emaciated. She looked fragile and hopeless. As she studied the girl, Clarke forgot her surroundings and travelled back in time.

x x x

Finn. She saw his body in her doorway. Finn Collins wasn't just her high school crush and first boyfriend. He was so much more.

When Clarke was thirteen years old, Finn Collins sneaked into her room. She was not with her parents. Both died when she was five years old. Clarke Griffin had always been an orphan. The only thing she remembered about her parents was a shirt. She wore it every single day. It also smelled like her parents, her aunt always told her. Therefore, she refused to wash it.

It had been the only thing left of her family. She would always protect this little fabric.

"Hey Finn." The thirteen-year-old girl greeted happily and got off the bed to hug her boyfriend. The longhaired boy stood in silence and removed his jersey. "What are you doing?" She laughed and waved him off. She was not in the mood for his games. Moreover, would get a punishment if any of the staff caught them.

Without another word, Finn pushed Clarke on the bed and sat on top of her. Now, the girl wasn't sure what Finn was up to this time. He grabbed her shirt and ripped it without hesitation.

A loud gasp escaped the girl's lips. She wriggled underneath him and was trying to loosen his grip. He knew about her feelings towards this T-shirt. Regardless, Finn continued to undress her.

He had to keep her from breaking away, but after a certain time Clarke eventually gave in. The only time Clarke protested was when he was about to enter her.

She had been crying the whole time and thought about their relationship. It had always felt wrong in some kind of way. Clarke admitted he had been a dark soul but never believed something like this would come up his mind. He was a little older than she was. Being a sixteen year old with needs, Finn desired to lose his innocence.

"Please… Could you at least use protection?" she pleaded what causes Finn to laugh.

x x x

Clarke snapped back to reality when Bellamy called her name multiple times. "Oh… I have to go. A patient is waiting for me. Uh… Stay safe. Bye." She hurried with her last sentence and quickly hung up. A frustrated quiet scream escaped her lips and she banged her head against the door.

"Granzie, if you break the door you'll pay it." Arizona shouted.

Petra Andel was nothing like her first patient. She was very open and friendly. Maybe she was this enthusiastic because, unlike others, it was her decision to get help. "Hello Doctor…" She started but could not manage to spot the little nametag on her chest. "Griffin" Clarke finished and gave her a warm smile that Petra gladly returned.

The Czech girl had been simple to deal with. An open minded and talkative woman who seemed to forgot her destination. Clarke liked to call her the calm after a storm, because she was the first patient after Rafael, who was not as easy to handle.

The only name Clarke recognized on her paper was Quinn's. The latter guesses the reason she visited the institute was, of course, Rachel's fault. She left her former lover Quinn for a man she barely knew. Out of sight, out of mind, Quinn needed to get help. People who witnessed their love were amazed by their chemistry. It always felt like too good to be true, like her best friend always said. Their friends were certain this love would lead to marriage someday. Rachel's sweeping turnover overtook everyone. It did not fit. Some were betting on Rachel fooling them, or Quinn overreacting like she always did when they had a discussion. They never had a big fight, just some arguments that were preceded peacefully.

Doctor Griffin brought back the memory of Quinn who locked herself up in the bathroom because Rachel liked an instagram picture of some person. They were too in love to actually fight. Even to this day, Clarke had not understood why Rachel made that decision. Nevertheless, she was happy with Jesse or something like that. She didn't get why Rachel loved or even liked him. He was a crazy sadistic sarcastic scum. In addition, he didn't greet her when they unexpectedly saw one another in the grocery store or at other places. He wasn't very friendly or kind. Perhaps, that's a prosperity of personality she found attractive.

Long story short, she had not seen the other blonde woman in a few months. And yes, she was curious what Quinn was up to these days, but the excitement of seeing her old friend vanished as she saw her. The usually gorgeous looking beauty's appearance was devastated. She swallowed hard and opened the door. "Quinn Fabray?" Clarke asked and cleared her throat. She was indeed nervous. Not sure how to act, weather as her doctor or as her friend. The older girl sat besides her and stared at the painting that Quinn was clearly lost in. The picture portrayed two girls, looking in love and holding hands while standing in front of some rusty car. She remembered something about the vehicle. The car Quinn got for Rachel when she turned eighteen. Up to this day, Rachel drove this silver black scrap.

"How is she?" Quinn asked. "Who?" Clarke responded and bit her lip. The latter laughed dry. "She's great. I guess she has never been happier." Clarke said and gripped the sheets. She wanted to help her. Even if it meant to hurt their friendship. "I see you are not trying to be gentle." The patient answered and sniffed. There wasn't a time the former cheerleader didn't cry. Not since she lost the love of her life. "They want to have a baby. And I'm sure they have tried a few times, Quinn. You can't prevent this from happening. Let go." The doctor explained and got up. Quinn threw a pillow after her. "She won't come back Quinn. She found her place." Clarke exit the room and took a deep breath. This was her being a friend. After that, she needed to be her doctor.

Despite having the most stressful second day in the history of second days, Clarke decided now was the perfect time to have her break. Her last patient, Lexa Grandees expected her at five and it was only half past three. _Maybe I'll call Bellamy_ , she considered but banned this thought. He was a great man and Clarke should have felt lucky to have him, but was relieved he was gone for so long.

Their relationship wasn't working out. Maybe that is why he left. He didn't want it to end, since he knew Clarke would not leave him over the phone. That wasn't like her. Still, Bellamy had doubts. In addition, they grew within every day.

Intimacy was never their thing, just because of the unwilling intercourse Finn demanded. After that, Clarke never let anyone pass the second base, which was heavily making out.

"Grinch!" Arizona called and crossed her arms. "Oh, I forgot I pay you for looking around. Suit yourself! Maybe I need to get you a bed so you at least won't stand in my way?" Her noisy boss rambled and fumbled with her hands.

"Oh come on Arizona, don't be too harsh. It's her second day." Thea defended the new doctor and urged Arizona to leave.

"Can you teach me how to get rid off her?" Clarke asked.

"Years of practice my dear." Thea laughed.

Five PM. December 16th. The day she met Lexa.

"Okay I don't mean to impersonate Doctor Robbins, but it's about time you start working again." Thea commanded.

Patient 152118 0609070820 0919 141520 15220518, or just Lexa Grandees was her next and last layover. Huge numbers like that slowly got on Clarke's nerves. It would have spared a lot of time if they used their actual names. The precious time Arizona constantly nagged about.

Of course, Clarke hadn't forgot her first one sided encounter with the stunning woman. The openly bisexual never forgot a pretty face. In addition to what Lexa looked like, Clarke had to memorize the long numbered patient forever. She really did, to say at least.

"Hello Miss Grandees, how are you feeling?" Her doctor asked and sat in the provided chair. She tried to impart not only sympathy this time, but also the qualification of therapeutic faculty. "I'm fine regarding the circumstances." She expounded and rubbed her arms. _What circumstances?_ Maybe this time she should have read the papers; Lexa's records.

"Yes, regarding the circumstances. They are indeed … very important to regard." Clarke answered while blushing. At some point, Lexa made her very nervous. Alternatively, maybe it was just her appearance; Clarke became socially awkward when a beautiful girl was close. You could watch the ship going under. Just like the titanic: slowly and anguished. The diseased girl raised an eyebrow. "You have no idea don't you." Lexa spoke which caused Clarke to stutter. "I-Of course. I'm an expert of reading people." She responded and licked her lips.

"You're just like my former doctor. A know-it-all with very little authority who finished college at only sixteen. What a great accomplishment." The young woman said sarcastically.

"Seventeen" She corrected. Lexa laughed. "Almost like my former doctor. Just not that great." She challenged and scrutinized her heartbeat again. Clarke noticed the action and compared it to the other time she did that.

"Why are you here?" The blonde asked and went from playing games and defending herself to super serious. "I'm not an open book. Well, yes, I am. Nevertheless, you need to read my papers. I won't tell you." She refused.

"But … How am I supposed to help you? ", the young woman asked.

"You can't." Lexa said. "This isn't the first time someone offered me help."

"I'm not your former doctor. And I wasn't one of the people who let you down, Miss Grandees."

"Call me Lexa, I hate my last name." She spoke in such a soft voice, sounds of breathing could have drowned the noise.

"This is only my second day. The patients are not very set for therapy. Except one, I guess. Studying psychology and medicine was not just to earn money. I do not, actually. I also spend a lot of money on therapy. An expensive field. Too bad I can't diagnose myself right?" Clarke joked and induced Lexa to smile. _A beautiful smile._

"Why do you need therapy?" The coloured person asked and bit her nails. _That must hurt._ "I've experienced some stuff. It's not important; you're the reason we both are here. Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" She asked again and tried to study the girl's behaviour. "Yes, but I'd like to show you."

Lexa got up and reached for Clarke's hands. She gently guided her to the bed she recently sat on and placed the blonde-haired woman's palm on her chest. "Feel it." Lexa whispered; the sonority sent shivers down her spine. _What a beautiful, beautiful woman._

Clarke attempted to feel anything, but felt dumbfounded when she could not diagnose something. After minutes of feeling her heartbeat, Clarke finally decided to speak up. "I'm sorry … But I don't see anything."

"That's what I thought. I think our time is over." Lexa whimpered and wiped her eyes. Tears were forming in those mesmerizing green doors to her soul. Clarke inched closer and shook her head. She caressed her face carefully what caused Lexa to close her eyes. "Help me see it. I know there can be something wrong with you even if other people cannot see it. Trust me. I want to help." The doctor persuaded and took her hand. As Lexa opened her eyes and stared into the other girl's orbs, she felt like being alive for one second. A second she could finally breathe and take in the world. A feeling that had been lost for years.

x x x

"Come on Lexa! Don't spoil our fun." Noah yelled and swam with Jake, his younger brother far up the sea. Boys will be boys. They do not consider the consequences of dangerous situations. They did not endure it anyway. Lexa swam to take them back. She grabbed both boys and quickly swam to the shore. Those waters were not safe for inexperienced children with scant swimming skills.

"Lexa!" Noah screamed when everything went black. Both boys rescued themselves; leaving their friend alone.

x x x

It was a life threatening shark attack. Lexa almost died. The doctors put her in an artificial coma for six weeks. After she woke up, nothing in her body felt alive. Doctors ascertained a heartbeat, but Lexa herself could not feel it. She felt her blood rotten in her veins and her body slowly dying. A feeling the psychology described as 'walking corpse syndrome'. Due to her perceiving, Lexa would not eat, nor nourish her body any other way. This caused her to lose weight in an extreme magnitude. Another life-threatening situation Lexa survived because of doctors who resuscitated her after collapsing.

The ill girl tried to break free from their staring contest, but was too afraid to lose the spark of hope she felt at the very moment. Without a second thought, Lexa shortened the distanced and desperately kissed her doctor. Completely overwhelmed, Clarke closed her eyes and embraced the feeling. She never kissed a girl, even though she really wanted to. It was a different feeling: a better feeling. Not thinking about her boyfriend for a second, Clarke pulled the girl closer until she felt her chest against hers. A strong heartbeat and warm skin.

Lexa pulled away and regulated her breathing. She was experiencing an amount of joy. Her lungs filled with air and her blood felt like hers again.

On the other hand, Clarke didn't feel very great, but rather full of regret. Intimacy with patients could mean a withdrawal of her job; she wouldn't be able to pay the bills for her therapist or rent.

"I'm so sorry Lexa. This was so stupid and -" She stammered and got off the bed but was cut off by Lexa was also stood up and hugged her saviour. "Don't be." She whispered and buried her face in her shoulder.

Weeks passed, Arizona still hated her and Lexa's condition improved. Even the other patients made progress. Rafael almost willingly talked to her. _You go girl!_

Her favourite part of the day. Five PM at room 214 with patient 152118 0609070820 0919 141520 15220518. Lexa Grandees.

They had a strong bond. Occasionally, they would kiss to 'check' Lexa's reaction and rectifying the symptoms. A big lie of course. The dark girl felt alive again as long as Clarke was around her. They talked about building a life together. With plans of future and things they wanted. It sounded too good to be real. Moreover, it was.

An emergency made Arizona herself barge in on Clarke and Lexa kissing on the bed. Both of them topless but still in their bras. It was the day Lexa was released from the hospital. And Clarke followed. Arizona did not sue her. She threw her out because she didn't want to feed a perverted so-called doctor who slept with patients.

As Lexa didn't like her father and was homeless now, Clarke decided it was a good idea to take her with her. They got closer over the two weeks of constantly being together and eventually admitted their feelings. It was emotional, Rachel almost puked. She and Jesse visited the new couple and could not believe their eyes. Romance was not for everybody. Moreover, not for these two.

It was a cold spring night and the blonde sat on the balcony trying to figure the future out. They had no income if Clarke didn't get a job offer the next days. Jesse, who had his own company, paid their bills and food. The doctor started to like him. Maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought. Nevertheless, at some point, they felt like a burden. They had to do something.

"Hey" Lexa called and opened the door. "Hey there. I thought you were asleep." Clarke explained and made room for Lexa to sit on her lap. "I was … The bed was empty without you in it. And so was I." The brown-haired exclaimed exemplified and sat down and kissed her lover's neck.

"I have been thinking …" The former doctor moaned and bit on her lip. "There is this new hospital in Louisiana…" She added. "What if we both start over? In Louisiana. We could fulfil our dreams. Together." Clarke explained and caressed her girlfriend's cheek.

"For a moment I thought you were breaking up with me." Lexa confessed and calmed herself. "After a few days?" The female laughed and pulled her closer. "Never. I promise. I can't live without you, Lexa." She declared and closed her eyes.

"I could say the same." Lexa added and laughed.

"Let's move to Louisiana then." Both of them said at once.

"You saved me, do you know that?" Lexa asked and stared at the woman's lips.

"You have no idea." Clarke answered and pressed her lips against Lexa's.


End file.
